Funny Thing My Dad Said - #1

I live with my 71-year old father, who is paralyzed from the neck down as the result of a massive stroke he had almost six years ago. Despite this, his mind is as sharp and clever and irreverent as ever, and his only limitations are physical. He has always been One Of The Funniest People I Know, and almost daily, he says something that practically makes me laugh up a lung.

Dad and I were talking the other night, and he was asking me how many kids most of my friends have. I was telling him that it pretty much runs the spectrum - some have one, some have five or six - but that most of my friends have two kids. I went on to tell him that many of them are currently on the fence as to whether or not to have a third. He said, "Tell them all to stop at two. Your mother and I always wished we'd stopped at two."

Note: I am the third child.

I'm Baaaaack...

Hello Everyone!

Your not-so-very-faithful correspondent is back after a nearly 4-month absence. Since you cannot see me right now, please be assured that my head is hanging in shame.

In all honesty, it has been a struggle for me to maintain this blog. This is puzzling to me, because I love to write and I love to share personal anecdotes, as well as offer my thoughts on faith, family, friendship, grief, love, etc. So I recently began to ask myself why I have not been better about keeping up with this blog, and I think I have finally nailed it:

You see, every year, I mail out an "Annual Year in Review" to just about everyone I know. It is generally 6-8 pages long (single-spaced), and is accompanied by anywhere from 20-35 pictures. It provides extensive updates on my family, news about my travels, information about my current hairstyle, and a review of the current state of my love life. It also contains a few surprises, usually one or more stories about some fanstastically embarassing things that have happened to me in the course of the year. It also offers my thoughts on life and faith, as well as the truths and principles that I hold dear.

Put simply, it's very comprehensive. And on top of that, I send a weekly email update out to about fifty of my best friends, letting them know how my weekend was, what's been going on at work, and what my work schedule looks like for the coming week. I'll also occasionally provide an update on my music and writing and other creative pursuits.

So all of this begs the question: What does this leave for The Blog? I'm already sort of giving you information overload, am I not? I have been pondering this lately, and I think I have come up with a solution. Here's what you can look forward to on The Blog:

- Updates on my music and writing career. (I'll remove that from the weekly email).
- How God is moving in my life and in my church.
- Bragadocious tales about my much-adored nieces and nephews.
- Tales of inspiration from folks I meet along the way.

And on the lighter side, six new regular features:

- Confessions of a Dork: Yours truly is a four-star geek, and almost daily, I do or say something that raises my dorkiness to stratospheric levels.
- Tales of a Restricted Budget: Anecdotes about how my life has changed since going from a high five-figure corporate salary to a waitress's wage.
- Pet Peeve of the Week: Pretty self-explanatory. I'll try to keep this light and not too judgemental or negative. I loathe negativity, but we all have things that get under our skin, right?
- A Great Memory I Had Today: Also pretty self-explanatory. I have really good recall, so my head is constantly swirling with memories ranging from the ridiculous to the sublime. Some are simply too good not to share.
- Ok Ya'll. This Made Me Laugh: Tales of funny things that I encounter in everyday life. Like when I was at a neighborhood pool over the weekend, and one of the pools had a sign posted outside of it that said, "Pool closed due to fecal contamination." :-/
- Funny Thing My Dad Said: I live with my 71-year old father, who is paralyzed from the neck down as the result of a massive stroke he had almost six years ago. Despite this, his mind is as sharp and clever and irreverent as ever, and his only limitations are physical. He has always been One Of The Funniest People I Know, and almost daily, he says something that practically makes me laugh up a lung.

So, there ya have it. I've always needed structure to perform well, so I think this plan will work. I hope you'll tune in. When I see you, I'm gonna quiz you to make sure you are. ;-)

Love & Kisses,
Kristin

You Know I Love My City, But...

I just wanted to show you what it's like to be an Aggie in Austin, Texas.

This is a picture I recently took at H.E.B., the grocery store at which I shop:

Note in the foreground the rows and rows and rows of Texas Longhorn paraphernalia. Longhorn T-shirts, Longhorn chairs, Longhorn flip-flops, Longhorn coffee mugs, Longhorn flags, Longhorn balloons.

Now, take a closer look. And look far in the distance, way there yonder in the back forty, in a galaxy far, far away. And thither will you see a lone Texas A&M t-shirt, standing proudly, hanging on to its last shred of dignity, and shining its maroon light for all to see.

Shine on little shirt, shine on!

Brooke's New Tennis Shoes

My sister Brooke is almost three years older than me, and has always been somewhat of a fashion and beauty mentor to me. I swear she came out of the womb with an innate sense of style. Her entire life, she has a been a paragon of grace, beauty, poise, and ultra-femininity. Here's a recent pic of her and her punkin' of a husband, Tom:


My mother always loved to tell the hilarious story of Brooke's first meeting with her kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Hector. Mrs. Hector was actually going to the homes of her new students to meet each one of them personally prior to the start of school. Evidently, Brooke inisisted on dressing herself for the occasion, and when Mrs. Hector arrived, Brooke emerged from her bedroom in a long, flowing gown and - this is the best - white gloves, all the way up to the elbows. To this day, she loves everything flowy and flowery, she is always perfectly accessorized, has every hair in place, and without exception, has the most darling shoes on.

So, you can imagine my surprise when I was on the phone with Brooke a few weeks ago and she shared with me how excited she was about her "new tennis shoes". I said, "Tennis shoes? You mean, like, athletic shoes?" And she says, "Yes! They're SO cool!" It wasn't that I was surprised to hear that she had bought athletic shoes - after all, she walks and works out regularly - but I was surprised that she was so excited about it. That's because I was picturing something like this:

A few weeks later, Brooke came into town for a visit. And almost right away, she said to me, "Oh! Look at my new tennis shoes!"

And ya'll. This is what I looked down and saw:

Ok. I seriously almost laughed up a lung. I was like, "Brooke, you have got to be kidding." And she was like, "Whaddya mean?" And I go, "Brooke! What in the name of all that is holy makes you think these are tennis shoes?" And she says, "Well, they're Skechers! And they have a rubber soul!" HAAAA! I said, "Brookie! They have straps and sequins on them! Sequins!"

We were both howling, and we went back and forth like this for a while. And actually, I am still sort of harassing about this to this day.

So...anyway, I just find it so completely cute and charming that she really considers the above shoe to be a sneaker. And I just had to share...

A Recovered Memory

As most of you know, I am a devout "American Idol" fan. One might even call me an "American Idol" Geek, a title which I would gladly and proudly accept. I haven't missed a single episode in years, and this past Tuesday night was no exception. The guest artist was Neil Diamond, who has been one of my favorite artists for 30+ years. He's a tremendous songwriter with a huge body of work, so I knew I was in for some great songs.

The evening proved me right.

But there was one song I had forgotten about.

This happens to me periodically. My love of music is colossal, and I have pretty varied musical tastes. In my 38 years, I've fallen in love with literally thousands of songs, spanning multiple decades and crossing multiple genres. And there's almost nothing I love more than hearing a song that I had forgotten about, falling in love with it all over again, and jumping onto I-Tunes as soon as humanly possible to get that song downloaded.

This past Tuesday night, that song was "Hello Again". It came out in 1980 on Neil Diamond's "The Jazz Singer" soundtrack. I remember loving the song, and I remember my older sister Julie loving the song (and blaring it from her bedroom stereo!). But I especially remember my Mom loving the song. And indeed, when AI contestant Syesha came on-screen and the opening notes to "Hello Again" started, I was instantly transported.

Transported to 1980. Transported to 6th grade. Transported to a station wagon driven by the sweetest and most beautiful woman on earth - my mother. She had that "Jazz Singer" soundtrack (on cassette tape, of course!), and played it endlessly. We'd sing aloud to it at the top of our lungs as she shuttled me to and from school and various extracurricular activities. Honestly, hearing that song on AI Tuesday night literally put me right back in that time and place. Such is the power and magic of music.

There is a line from the movie "You've Got Mail" when Meg Ryan's character Kathleen Kelly says "I'm missing my mother so much, I can hardly breathe." That's how I felt Tuesday night when I heard "Hello Again" for the first time in a very, very long time. It made me miss my mother terribly, and I wept throughout Syesha's performance, especially when the song reached its crescendo:

Maybe it's been crazy
And maybe I'm to blame
But I put my heart above my head
We've been through it all
And you loved me just the same
And when you're not there
I just need to hear
Hello, my friend, hello

And yet, as is so often the case when these moments of grief strike me so suddenly, in the midst of it, I couldn't help but feel grateful. Grateful that music ties me emotionally to so many happy memories in my life, especially memories of my mother. Grateful for my mother's great passion for music, which no doubt influenced my own. I mean, there was never not music in her car. And there's never not music in my car either.

And finally, grateful that I know that I will someday see her again, that it will be a glorious reunion, and that the heavens will be filled with music when that day comes.

This Made My Day

Hey Everybody,

If you're ever wanting to promote a sale or an event or anything of any kind, this is the dude to hire.

Check out the video that I took. Make sure you have your sound on:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J7fE8WXBog4

Unexpected Delight at Table 50

I work as a server as California Pizza Kitchen at the Domain here in Austin. My real career is songwriter, singer, and writer, but working at CPK is how I pay the bills for now.

After spending 14 years in a cubicle in the corporate world, and interacting with customers mostly by just email or phone, it has been a real treat to interact face-to-face and so personally with people every day. I consider it a ministry of sorts - how can I truly serve and bless these people today in a really tangible way? It's very cool.

A number of folks warned me that waiting tables would eventually lead me to hate people. Interestingly, I have found that it has had the exact opposite effect. Don't get me wrong. I have had some crabby, difficult, rude, impolite, and even abusive customers. But they are a small minority. Most people are basically kind, gracious, and appreciative. Many are even downright fun. But sometimes the fun comes in unexpected packaging. Allow me to explain...

I was recently working a weekday lunch, it was nearing the end of my shift, and I was pretty satisfied already with the tips I had made. I was also pretty tired, a little grumpy, and not feeling up to waiting on another table. Basically I was being, as Beth Moore would say, Queen Complainey from the Hawhiney Islands.

I saw an older lady come through the door and I was one of only a couple of servers still on the floor. Because I have a reputation for never refusing a table, I knew I'd be asked to handle it. And sure enough I was.

She was sitting at Table 50, and there was nothing in her appearance or demeanor that suggested the revelry she would soon provide. I approached her with a smile that belied my cranky mood. "Hello," I said, "I'm Kristin and I'll be taking care of you today." No sooner was the sentence off my lips when she looked right at me and said, "Let me ask you something." "Yes ma'am," I said, expecting a question about our interminably long menu. Instead, she looked right at me and said, "Are you behaving yourself today?"

HA! What a hoot! I immediately felt my mood lighten. I said, "Am I behaving? Well, I'm doing my best!" And she looked at me squarely and said, "That doesn't sound convincing, Kristin." We continued to have some delightful banter around this question of whether or not I was behaving and whether or not she was behaving. That led to a conversation about her recent trip to Macy's to buy 1oz of perfume that she had seen on sale online, but dangit, the actual store only carried the 2oz bottle, so of course, she had to buy it in the 2oz size.

And throughout her late lunch that day, we talked about perfume and lipstick and her children and grandchildren. She shared with me that the first thing she does in the morning is get on her computer, and I told her I did the exact same thing. And we learned that we were both Christians - and in fact, both Baptists - and that we both enjoy life in the city and possess a wealth of friends in our lives. Everything she said was tinged with humor and whimsy, and soon every remaining ounce of grouchiness had completely left me.

She told me that her name was Joan, and I positively begged her to ask for my section next time she comes in. I left work that afternoon feeling immensely grateful. Joan not only cracked me up and warmed my heart, but she reminded me of the great, life-affirming, spirit-lifting, self-absorption-smashing, bad-mood-shattering JOY that comes from actively practicing the most vital aspect of my faith - LOVING PEOPLE.

Thank you God, and thank you Joan.