And The People Said Amen...

Saw this at Hobby Lobby this week. It spoke to my heart. And it cracked me up.

A Great Memory I Had Today - # 1

While perusing my bookshelf the other day, I came across an at-home Bible Study that I had done many years ago called "Becoming A Woman of Excellence" by Cynthia Heald. It was very interesting to look through it and read all of my notes - to see how I had answered certain questions, and to get a glimpse of where I was in my head and in my heart back then.

On page 15, I noticed a Scripture that I had underlined. It was 1 Samuel 16:7 - "The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."

I suddenly was transported back to the first time I ever saw this Scripture. I actually don't remember many of the details around my discovery of this Scripture, or how I even came across it. But I do remember how I felt the first time I read those words. It was actually many years before I did the Cynthia Heald study. Indeed, I know exactly when it was, because I marked it in my Bible: February 22nd, 1991.

I was a 21-year old college Senior, and like many women in America, I had spent a number of years battling body image issues, trying to live up to impossible beauty standards, and often struggling with the feeling that my value was directly and inexorably tied to how I looked.

So when I read these words in Holy Scripture - man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart - it was just one of those moments when I knew - I just knew - that I had encountered great Truth. Furthermore, it affirmed all of the things that I had theretofore come to know and understand about God's character - His goodness, His compassion, and His unfailing ability to fly in the face of all of the lies the world loves to tell us. Your only value is in your appearance? Nonsense, says God. You're only as good as you are beautiful? Rubbish, says God. You gotta look just like the girl on the cover of that magazine? A heaping, stinking pile of lies, says God.

Now, don't get me wrong...I'm as much a girly-girl as the next girl. I've got big love for hair, makeup, shopping, clothes, shoes, jewelry, purses, pedi's, mani's - you name it. And I don't see anything wrong with any of that. It's all a blast, and for me, one of the most fun parts about being a woman. But in our aesthetically-obsessed culture, in which the impossible goal of physical perfection is the stated ideal, and qualities such as character, kindness, morality, and selflessness are often deemed unimportant, I rest in the knowledge that the Sovereign God says that what He cares about the most is our hearts.

Thanks be to God for His bold, life-changing, audacious words of Truth!

Funny Thing My Dad Said - # 4

I live with my 71-year old father, who is paralyzed from the neck down as the result of a massive stroke he had almost six years ago. Despite this, his mind is as sharp and clever and irreverent as ever, and his only limitations are physical. He has always been One Of The Funniest People I Know, and almost daily, he says something that practically makes me laugh up a lung.

I came home from the restaurant one afternoon and said, "Daddy, I got the nicest compliment from one of my customers today, a very sweet older lady." He replied, "Oh yeah? What did she say?" I said, "Well, I had just come up and greeted her, and she looked right at me and said, 'Well honey, you are so pretty!' Isn't that sweet?" Daddy replied, "Oh that is very sweet. Too bad she has cataracts though..."

Ok Ya'll, This Made Me Laugh - #1

I was driving to work last evening and was in a bit of a hurry. I wasn't running late, but I was running "on time", and because Saturday nights at the restaurant are so busy, being on time is critical.

I am generally a very good driver, and in particular, a very courteous driver. I have the name of "Jesus" in an ichthus on the back of my car, so the manner in which I treat people on the road really matters. I can't espouse the tenets of Jesus on my bumper and then go and act like Satan himself at the wheel. I'm ultra-conscientious about the way I drive.

Anyway, I was pulling out of my neighborhood and onto a highway frontage road. A few cars were coming down the hill, but I felt for sure I could beat them all. I began inching my car out, when I suddenly realized there was a minivan coming down at such a rate of speed that I simply was not going to be able to pull out. I mean, I could have, but I would have had to rudely peel out in front of her. So, I stopped, but I was already a couple of feet into her lane.

Right as she passed me, she slowed a bit, and I gave her a sheepish little wave, ya know, the universal sign for, "My bad, I messed up, I'm so sorry."

I expected a wave back. I mean, can't we all just get along? Honest mistake, let's move on from this, right? Well, it was not to be. Indeed, what happened next was astounding.

She wagged her finger at me. Let me repeat that: She wagged her finger at me. Three times, in fact. Wag. Wag. Wag.

Ok ya'll. No one has wagged their finger at me since Bill Clinton told me that he definitely did NOT have any kind of relations with "that woman." And let me just say for the record that I didn't like finger-wagging then, and I don't like it now.

I sorta couldn't believe it. I began to wonder if she had said anything aloud to me as well, ya know, like: "You better mind your p's and q's little missy!" Or perhaps, "Maybe you need to go to your room and think about what you did." I almost felt a lump in my throat, as if I was going to cry, just out of sheer humiliation. But had I done that, I felt certain she would have turned her car around, walked right over to my window, and told me that I'd better stop that crying or she'd give me something to really cry about.

As I continued driving to work, I started lightening up a bit, and realized that this had been a hilarious incident. I began HOWLING thinking about it. I had been admonished with a finger-wagging from a complete stranger in a minivan!

I lost my mother a few years ago, and I am always grateful for any little bits of mothering that I can get. But this was not exactly what I had in mind...

I Heart Robert Wagner

OK, ya'll. Yesterday I was watching "Good Morning America" and they were talking about the actor Robert Wagner's new autobiography, "Pieces of my Heart". They were showing several photos from his life, and as I was watching this, I suddenly remembered something that had slipped my mind:

Robert Wagner is the hottest guy to ever walk this earth.

Seriously people. Seriously.

How I could ever have forgotten this, I do not know.

On top of that - and really, more importantly - he is widely regarded as one of the nicest, most charming, and most gracious gentleman that Hollywood has ever known.

Out of the kindness of my heart, I am going to share with you a few photos of him.

People often ask me what my "type" is. Well...yer lookin' at it.

Early photo, probably from the 1950's:




So debonair in the 60's! I wanna play with his hair:



I absolutely LOVE this turtleneck and blazer look. If I were married to Robert Wagner, he would have to dress this way every day:


With the love of his life, Natalie Wood. The fact that he is wearing a gold chain is completely forgiven:

As super-suave Jonathan Hart from the "Hart to Hart" TV series:

And as a bonus, check out this smoldering photo from the cover of his new book:

You're welcome.

Funny Thing My Dad Said - #3

I live with my 71-year old father, who is paralyzed from the neck down as the result of a massive stroke he had almost six years ago. Despite this, his mind is as sharp and clever and irreverent as ever, and his only limitations are physical. He has always been One Of The Funniest People I Know, and almost daily, he says something that practically makes me laugh up a lung.

The first semester of my freshman year in high school, my Dad drove me to school every morning. My older sister would normally have driven me, but she had drill team practice early in the morning, and my mother was busy getting my three younger siblings off to their respective schools. So, throughout the Fall of 1983, Daddy and I carpooled.

Dad and I were recently watching "Best of the 80's Videos" on VH1, and a video by the Stray Cats came on. I said, "Oh my gosh! Daddy, I used to make you listen to my Stray Cats tape when you took me to school in the 9th grade! Do you remember that one year when you drove me to school every morning?"

To which he replied: "Yes, I remember very well because it was the year I started drinking."

Confessions of a Dork - #1

Yours truly is a four-star geek, and almost daily, I do or say something that raises my dorkiness to stratospheric levels. Case in point:

The other day, I went to my brother's house to go see my sister-in-law and my nephew. I have been over there many times and have always been made to feel very welcome and right at home. So, it was quite natural for me to walk into the kitchen to grab a drink. I filled my cup with ice, made my way to the sink, and turned the faucet on to get some water.

Before I even knew what hit me, my hair and my shirt were soaking wet. I thought for a moment that I might have been shot. Ya know, by a gun. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw some water shooting projectile across the kitchen. It seemed as though gallons of water were flying through the air. Water hitting the kitchen island, water hitting the microwave, water hitting the cabinets. Water flippin' everywhere. What was going on?

Somehow I was able to fumble my way through the deluge and turn the faucet off. My sister-in-law Christy - she being possessed of a sweet and gentle spirit - calmly said, "Oh...that faucet is broken." She apologized profusely, somehow thinking it was her fault that I had just caused a major cataclysm her kitchen.

Here is what I looked like after said incident:

Here is a picture of the faucet.

Clearly missing a major piece. Why I did not notice that this was an obvious aberration from the norm, I do not know, nor do I want to discuss.

It merely confirms my status as a Dork.