Thursday, August 2, 2007

Airport Security - Come Here Often?

Allow me to digress from my GMA Festival updates for a moment to share some thoughts on airport security. First, let me make it clear that I have no issue with the airport security requirements, which, as we all know, changed drastically following 9/11. Making minor adjustments such as taking my laptop out of its case and carrying my liquids in small quantities is a small price to pay for national security and safety in the skies. I long ago accepted the changes in security as the new normal, and I never complain about them.

I travel by air so much that I know exactly what items are going to set off the security alarm - my maroon jacket with metal buttons, the James Avery bracelet that my friend Shannon gave me, etc. So I begin removing those items right away, in addition to the required surrender of my shoes. This generally makes my experience through security go rather quickly, and this latest trip was no exception. But...something frequently happens post-security that always cracks me up. It happened again this past Sunday.

Once you are past the brigade, you have to put all of the removed items back on your body. I always seem to end up next to a man at this point. And there we stand at the table, him putting his belt and cufflinks and watch back on, and me putting my jacket and jewelry and shoes back on. And ya'll, it just makes me laugh! I am unmarried and do not practice sex outside of marriage, but here I stand in the middle of the airport in various states of undress along with the dude right next to me! I always chuckle to myself, thinking how funny it would be to say something to him like, "Was it good for you too?" or "You could have at least bought me dinner first."

That would of course be inappropriate, but I've got to find some way to diffuse the situation. Because one of these days, I'm just gonna bust out laughing, and send some guy's cufflinks flying across the airport floor.

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